Maybe you've been unhappy in your marriage for years. Or maybe for the last two or three years, you've been thinking about divorce. Perhaps the only thing holding your marriage together is guilt over splitting up your family. But after a lot of thought (and perhaps counseling) you've Decided it's time to tell your husband you want a divorce. Though It Will Be A Difficult conversation to have, it's possible to have a discussion with him That is effective and clear.
Part 1 of 3: Preparing to Tell Your Husband
1
Consider your Reasons for the divorce. Divorce ice thwart threatened During heated arguments, Usually out of states or frustration, to gain power and control over the other person, and to finally be taken seriously That You Want Real Change. [1]
Remind yourself That divorcing your partner is a huge decision, mentally, emotionally, and financially. You will also need to be willing to let go of a strong emotional attachment to your partner, so you should try to make the decision to get a divorce from a clear, unemotional standpoint.
Ask yourself: What is my intent in getting a divorce? Any other agenda other than ending the marriage, is an indication you May not be ready to get a divorce. Divorce has no power to right wrongs or change people's hearts. Divorce can only end your marriage and your relationship with your partner.
Keep in Mind That spouses who consistently threaten divorce can lose credibility with themeselves and Their partners. So, if you are serious about getting a divorce, you will need to express this to your partner in a clear, but Appropriate Way.
2
Try not to blindside your husband. In most cases, both spouses are aware Usually there is something wrong with the marriage. You May have tried marital therapy together, donated individual counseling, or had discussions about the troubles in the relationship. If possible, try to Pursue counseling or therapy together first before jumping into a conversation about divorce. [2]
If the feelings are mutual, you and your husband will have more options. If your husband has no idea, it can be a devastating conversation. Surprising your husband with this Difficult News May Also resulted in a more Difficult Transition for you bothering During The separation.
3
Practice what you are going to say. This is going to most likely be a very hard conversation to have with your husband. So get out a piece of paper and write down a few possible things you May include When you tell your husband about the divorce. [3]
Keep in mind you are about to break some bad news thatwill probably evoke strong emotions. Compose a few sentences That do not contain 'strong language or an angry tone.
Focus on using neutral language. Make "I" statements, Such as: "Michael, I have some Difficult news to tell you. I have Reached a pullout That you and I need to divorce. "
Avoid giving any false hope to your husband if you are serious about the divorce. Saying something like: "I have not been happy for a long time. But I want to see if we can work on some of the Things That are troubling me "will give your husband the impression you want to fix the marriage. So if this is not your intent, avoid statements like this. [4]
4
Find a private, quiet space. Choose a time When you are both alone and no one is going to barge into During the conversation. Look for a space in your home, like the living room or the dining room, That is quiet and comfortable.
Turn off your cell phone and ask your husband to do the Same. If you have children, ask a family member to watch them while you talk to your husband, uninterrupted.
5
Have a third party in the room if you are worried about your safety. Perhaps you are divorcing for troubling Reasons, like your husband's angry or abusive behavior. If this is the care, have a third party present like a therapist or a counselor, or choose a more public place to talk to him. [5]
You can not control how well or how not well your husband takes the news. But if there is a history of violence or abuse in your marriage, make sure you have another person in the room with you.
You Can Also tell your husband over the phone if you are Concerned about your safety and do not want to pray in his presence When you tell him the news.
Part 1 of 3: Preparing to Tell Your Husband
1
Consider your Reasons for the divorce. Divorce ice thwart threatened During heated arguments, Usually out of states or frustration, to gain power and control over the other person, and to finally be taken seriously That You Want Real Change. [1]
Remind yourself That divorcing your partner is a huge decision, mentally, emotionally, and financially. You will also need to be willing to let go of a strong emotional attachment to your partner, so you should try to make the decision to get a divorce from a clear, unemotional standpoint.
Ask yourself: What is my intent in getting a divorce? Any other agenda other than ending the marriage, is an indication you May not be ready to get a divorce. Divorce has no power to right wrongs or change people's hearts. Divorce can only end your marriage and your relationship with your partner.
Keep in Mind That spouses who consistently threaten divorce can lose credibility with themeselves and Their partners. So, if you are serious about getting a divorce, you will need to express this to your partner in a clear, but Appropriate Way.
2
Try not to blindside your husband. In most cases, both spouses are aware Usually there is something wrong with the marriage. You May have tried marital therapy together, donated individual counseling, or had discussions about the troubles in the relationship. If possible, try to Pursue counseling or therapy together first before jumping into a conversation about divorce. [2]
If the feelings are mutual, you and your husband will have more options. If your husband has no idea, it can be a devastating conversation. Surprising your husband with this Difficult News May Also resulted in a more Difficult Transition for you bothering During The separation.
3
Practice what you are going to say. This is going to most likely be a very hard conversation to have with your husband. So get out a piece of paper and write down a few possible things you May include When you tell your husband about the divorce. [3]
Keep in mind you are about to break some bad news thatwill probably evoke strong emotions. Compose a few sentences That do not contain 'strong language or an angry tone.
Focus on using neutral language. Make "I" statements, Such as: "Michael, I have some Difficult news to tell you. I have Reached a pullout That you and I need to divorce. "
Avoid giving any false hope to your husband if you are serious about the divorce. Saying something like: "I have not been happy for a long time. But I want to see if we can work on some of the Things That are troubling me "will give your husband the impression you want to fix the marriage. So if this is not your intent, avoid statements like this. [4]
4
Find a private, quiet space. Choose a time When you are both alone and no one is going to barge into During the conversation. Look for a space in your home, like the living room or the dining room, That is quiet and comfortable.
Turn off your cell phone and ask your husband to do the Same. If you have children, ask a family member to watch them while you talk to your husband, uninterrupted.
5
Have a third party in the room if you are worried about your safety. Perhaps you are divorcing for troubling Reasons, like your husband's angry or abusive behavior. If this is the care, have a third party present like a therapist or a counselor, or choose a more public place to talk to him. [5]
You can not control how well or how not well your husband takes the news. But if there is a history of violence or abuse in your marriage, make sure you have another person in the room with you.
You Can Also tell your husband over the phone if you are Concerned about your safety and do not want to pray in his presence When you tell him the news.
No comments:
Post a Comment